words . of . wisdom

[ by jay shetty ]

|- n o s t a l g i a -|

..most of us experience nostalgia once a week…

We remember temporary feelings as permanent emotions.
We forget the hours of sadness and amplify the seconds of goodness.
We only remember what our biased mind has chosen to recall.
We put an emotional state within an area or a specific frame and believe that that specific time was completely embodied and captivated by that feeling and those emotions.
Nostalgia has a positive impact on our mental health but often nostalgia can lead to more pain than progress.

Nostalgia can inspire us to believe that things were great but they could be better now.
What we experienced before are the building blocks and foundations of transforming our life.

We can create new memories, new moments, new experiences that have more and more beautiful moments for us to live.

We can appreciate the past, but we must bring our attention to the present.
Be grateful for the past, but be even more grateful in the present and if we don’t leave the past in the past, it will affect our future.

And the longer we live in the past, the less time and energy we have for today. You can’t state the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

|- lesson after a break up -|

Sometimes people give us a lesson that we didn’t want to learn.
Sometimes they give us growth that we feel we weren’t ready for.
Sometimes they give us a bit of space, maybe a little bit faster.
Sometimes they leave us with a question instead of an answer.

Of course it hurts when you realize you’re not as important to someone as you thought you were.
And when you love someone more than they deserve, they’ll probably hurt you more than you deserve.
Sometimes your heart needs time to accept what you already know.

And don’t feel sad because someone gave up on you, but feel sad because they gave up on someone who wouldn’t never given up on them.
It’s amazing how our hearts can still feel sad about something today that happened such a long time ago.
You learn so much..
You learn to never let someone be such a priority in your life when all you are to them is an option.
You learn you can miss something but still not want it back.
You learn that someone can go from being the reason you wake up smiling to being the reason you cry yourself to sleep.
You learn that you lost someone who didn’t love you but they lost someone who truly loved them.
You learn not to stress the “could haves” because if it should have, it would have.

A truly broken relationship is like a broken piece of glass.
Sometimes it’s better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together.
And no one wants to have their heart broken, but sometimes your heart has to break to let the pain out and let the light in.
And sometimes you have to feel the pain to heal the pain.
And remember, the same person who broke you doesn’t fix you.. the lesson they taught you does.

And stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it.
Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.

Write down what you learned from each relationship?

The thing that could bring you the most happiness could also bring you the most pain at the same time.
True happiness that I needed was happiness for myself.. not for anyone else.

Trust your gut. You’re way is not the only way to communicate. You don’t need to be seeking validation from him or from men.. In the end, the only validation that you need is from yourself.

|- feeling unhappy: don’t push yourself harder -|

Imagine life as a game in which you’re juggling 5 balls in the air.
Let’s name them work, family, health, friends, and spirit.
And you’re keeping all of these in the air.
You’ll soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other 4: family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass.
If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocable scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered.
They will never be the same again.

You must understand that and strive for balance in your life and what we need to recognize is that there is no balance if we don’t start with ourselves.

Burn out is not about giving too much of yourself, it’s about trying to give what you don’t have.
Burn out is when we listen to others but not our own body.
We talk to others, but not our own mind.
We make time for others but don’t make time for ourselves.
We go out when we want to stay in.
We stay up late when we want to go to bed early.

You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do.
No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.

..the key to failure, is trying to please everyone.

We lose ourselves trying to please everyone else, than actually lose everyone else trying to find ourselves.
We long to stop pretending and express our raw truth to give voice to our secret loneliness, our shame, our broken hearts, boredom and brilliant rage.
There is no shame in your exhaustion.
We are all exhausted.

Slow down today, allow yourself to rest deeply. And weep. And breath. And begin again.

It contains the seeds of new life.
The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself.
The challenge is to silence the ego.
We can hear the songs through our bodies, if we stop the ego from drowning it out.
We can hear the soul through our pain if we silence the mind.
Burning out is when you’re running when you need to just walk.
It’s when you’re chasing and you just need to fall.
It’s when you’re driving and you truly need to drop.
And it’s when you’re pushing and you need to pause.

Don’t judge yourself.
Every though can be a battle, every breath can be a wall but you don’t have to do that anymore.