Well, so much for consistency.. (>.<) but ya’know!
There has been a lot that has been happening and I just can’t seem to post/upload fast enough.
In January, the start of the new year, I was able to do a getaway to NYC to celebrate my cousin’s birthday! Since last year’s holidays, I basically worked mostly all of it so I made sure I started the year off right! Will have to write about it soon. (XP)
February was the fastest month yet. I was not mentally ready for my trip to the Philippines but man, it was a happy trip. It had a few bittersweet moments yet each moment was heartfelt. I suppose this trip opened my eyes to how much I appreciate my culture, my homeland, and my family. It very much answered a lot of questions I had been feeling very unsure about and I hope to share more about it soon.
But wait! There’s more. There’s a surprise trip that’s gonna happen very soon. I can’t to surprise you all about it but right now, it’s all in the suspense stage.
Thanks for reading, whoever you are. I know my life sounds crazy but it has it’s moments where it’s not. I hope you have a great day or month. See ya!
I’ve been on a podcast train. It’s been pretty wild because I’m still looking around what kind of podcasts I enjoy. So far these podcast are what I’ve been drawn to.
The Beaw Cast (Bart & Geo) – I enjoy these two and majority of their podcast. I adore Bart and how he really does his best to understand himself and does his best to be better in his relationship with Geo. I also admire how he explains his views or how/what he learned. This probably stems from a past person, and the way they would explain things was very similar. Listening to Bart and his conversations with Geo made me realize how much I would like someone who tries their best to communicate with me and will continue to try to explain their feelings/thoughts with me. I think this also shows me that I’m drawn to people who have a hard time with their emotions. With Bart, he knows that he needs more time to process his emotions. Because they slowly allow their emotions come out, you see so much more of the person that you wouldn’t have seen unless you allow them to share that. It takes a lot of courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable and it’s really wholesome to see someone so “alpha” like Bart be so humble and down-to-earth. Then with Geo. I admire her strength along with her beauty. She does have a very strong foundation in who she is but is also learning to be open-minded when it comes to topics she’s not familiar with. She openly accepts that she doesn’t know much about a subject and is willing to learn. When it comes to conversation with touchy subjects, she knows her boundaries yet does a good job communicating her views with Bart and tells him how it is. Even if Bart would like her to try it his way, he respects her feelings and never makes her feel guilty for something she wants/likes to do. She’s an example of how strong women are also vulnerable and wanting love. It’s nice how aware they are and communicative with their listeners. Plus I appreciate both of them being super honest and open about what they’ve experienced, their past, and their mistakes. They do an outstanding job allowing their listeners feel like they are just talking to them. You feel that community space and it’s comforting. Overall, I’ve been listening to their podcast the most, and the longest and have throughly enjoyed it so far.
Create the Love with Mark Groves – This is fairly new yet I have been listening to Mark Groves a lot recently. I think the topics have been insightful and relevant in my life. I have been listening to this on my way to work or on my break when I get the chance. It’s a bit of a love-hate because I love how informative it is yet I hate how truthful it all is. So I do have to listen with an open-mind and sometimes have to listen to the podcast twice. The content is super potent that there are times where you just need more time to digest it all.
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah – Man, I love this guy. As much as I love watching The Daily Show, if I can’t.. I am more than happy to listen to him.
Asian, Not Asian (Fumi Abe & Mic Nguyen) – I started listening to these guys because my cousin who lives in NY, her and her hubby to go comedy shows. Well, these guys are locals and she invited me to listen to their podcast. Basically the premise is a couple of Asian guys not from Asia talking about American issues no American cares about. Ironically, it’s not all issues that “no American” cares about because I’m sure there is an ‘merican out there that does care about an American issues. But for the most part, it’s nice to listen to these goofballs just chatting away about the most random topics. So every now and then, if I’m not into listening anything too serious, I’ll listen to these guys for some random laughs.
Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness – This one is a bit new for me. One thing though, I am just swooned by JVN. I love that the title is Getting Curious and some of the topics are a little bit politically heavy so I do go easy on it because sometimes I may not be in the best mindset to take in such content (i.e: driving home) but I do admire JVN’s desire to learn more from the guest. Anyways, still getting into the swing with this podcast.
Any podcast you guys would like to recommend? I try to be useful with my time and so far it’s been helpful not having to actually read and just take in information in conversation form and getting perspective of people. Please share!
Have you ever felt so confused on what the next step to life was?
I suppose I was under the assumption that life would just lead me to where ever I was suppose to go.. like a current that you thought would lead you to your destination. Well, what do you do when that current just stops and you’re in the middle of the freakin’ ocean?
Interestingly enough, in my current situation, my emotions have gone through a roller coaster for the past year and it’ll probably still be like that for a while. Fortunately I’m at the point where I (think? I) may actually be enjoying the wild and weird turns. At first, it was uncomfortable.. as in the “I’m scared, sad, boo-hoo, crying myself to sleep” kind of uncomfortable. Now it’s gotten less scarier and less tears happen.
So here I am, taking these baby steps into this journey of my very own. Not 100% sure of what it is I’m suppose to do but hopefully I will and I would like to document my journey along the way. I also would like to share very personal tidbits about myself and stuff I’ve learned or experienced. I feel that because it’s a personal journey, not everyone will have the same experiences but it also shows that we could possibly share an experience and it’s what connects us. Now why on earth am I starting something like this?
So, small detail about me. I began therapy almost about a year ago, back in 2018. It was post break up 7 months before starting therapy, and I was still grieving over that broken relationship. Plus, I became aware of how depressed I was feeling at the fact that majority of my friends were either not local anymore, not single, or I felt generally disconnected with them because I had not either seen, or heard from them. Which resulted to phone calls/texts feeling less genuine and automated and it didn’t feel like I was connecting to a person anymore. I wasn’t myself anymore.
That’s how long it took me to accept the fact that I needed help.. emotionally and mentally. Along with the therapy, I would listen to podcasts, videos, or read all sorts of “self-help” books or articles and it felt that it still wasn’t enough for me to “move on.”
I do want to share that if you are having trouble with the whole “moving on,” process, just know that it’s okay to feel like that. If it starts to feel overwhelming and you need an unbiased opinion, start with looking for help. I pretty much Googled “therapist near me” and looked for one that specialized in what I needed, what I could afford. Called the number, made an appointment and went from there. I’ll probably write it more in a later post but just know that the whole moving on idea isn’t always as easy as it sounds and I would like to share my experience with that.
Alas, here I am! Broken, but still good. Less jaded and learning to become more open-minded than I was before. I have a lot to catch up on, especially with the food shares, and happenings in life.. I just need a place to share myself. I’m learning to put myself out there and see what comes back in return.
You guys don’t know how amazing it feels to get that out of the way, finally. It’s been more than 1.5 years to get that done for me. It should have been accomplished sooner but this past year have been a lot of growing pains for myself.
As I look back, I remember telling my parents that I didn’t want to go any further with Radiology. I told them that I would do the whole Radiology-xray shtick and then do my own thing. Now look at where I am!
I will say this.. I am proud of myself. I don’t think I’ve ever told myself that but writing this now.. fudge. I don’t say it ever. I’ve always been hard on myself so starting now, I’m going to be kinder to myself. I can’t believe with everything that’s happened in my life, God has been good to me. I’m slowly building that courage and confidence needed to go after the things that mean something to me.
Throughout all the challenges life throws at me; such as juggling responsibilities, friends, family, and work to not giving in to the negativity, laziness, toxicity, and shortcuts, it was hard. No. It was difficult. I don’t know how many times I’ve cried because I just wanted to give up. In all honesty, there were so many days where I just did not care at all. I didn’t care about anyone else.. I couldn’t even be selfish with myself. That’s how much I wanted to give up.
But with this small win, I’m slowly learning what it means to persevere. It took a lot of reading quotes, to therapy, and surrounding yourself with good people. And I really hope it could be a stepping stone to something bigger. I already know, it’s going to be even demanding than the last. The willpower still needs some work.
Well.. who knows? I’m still learning what it is that I really want to do and I feel like this is the first scratch to what that is.
Oof, I will admit.. this post was a bit more vulnerable than I expected. I guess I just want to share that it’s okay if you’re going through a tough time. Whatever it may be, you can get through it. Just try. Even if it is just a little bit. Give whatever you have for that day, hour, or minute.
Anyways, we still have more challenges and projects to tackle, but for now!
I was able to convince a few friends of mine who haven’t seen the movie yet. I was a bit skeptical at first with it because of all the positive remarks I had been hearing. I was nervous to see if it really could stand up to the hype.
Yeah, it’s really good. I’m happy to see it was showcased animated versus IRL. Spiderman to me is a very ‘comic’ style Marvel superhero. Yeah sure, there are several movies with different actors (Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, and of course.. Tobey Maguire) but I grew up with the cartoon version of Spiderman. I liked that consistency of a character. The movie versions, you can’t have the same person because they get older. But cartoons… you get pretty much the same voice and look every time.
I loved the music chosen for the movie. I have no clue how they tie in music with movies now-a-days but it’s fire. Whoever is in charge of it is doing their job right. It brought out the feels at the right time. Everything flowed so well. It made me really get into the song “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee. *squeals*
I can’t think of anything I did not enjoy about the movie. Some say that the movie had characters that could have been done without, but if that was the case, the movie wouldn’t be the same. So in essence, everyone there was necessary. Sure, the role wasn’t big, but the part they played was needed so I can’t say that I didn’t like them. Plus, it was an interesting angle for the story.
I can’t say too much about the movie without spoiling it so I’ll stop at the moments. By the way, if you want to watch movies with your friends, you should download the app, Atom. (No, not sponsored!) But it’s a pretty sweet app. 🙂
What do you think? I’d like to hear your thoughts about the movie. 🙂
When popcorn isn’t the snack you crave at the cinema.
There are books. There are movies. There are actual people who literally talk about “purpose.”
What’s the purpose of this? I’ll be honest… I have no idea. I suppose I’m just ready to stop talking about how I’m going to do this. I’m done making excuses. I need to finally just take the risk and do something. And you know what? Maybe even fail! My problem is that I want to do everything at one time and I don’t typically plan everything all out. I don’t take the time to build anything up and then I get all butt hurt when things don’t go my way. Hm!
So I’m starting out small. I wanted to learn how to commit to this website; stay consistent in writing, blogging, writing up food reviews, perhaps upgrading to small video clips, then do other “fun” stuff I think are cool. I never had much confidence in myself growing up and I always talked about doing projects but 25% I would follow through.
So I’m here to address what I’ll most likely be blogging:
Personal Experiences (Win-Fail)
Thoughts/Opinions
Food reviews
Fun Activities (besides food reviews)
My Interests
My Cats
My Parents
Photos I’ve Taken Randomly
Past Photos I’ve Taken
Yeah, it looks pretty general. That’s because I haven’t decided exactly how intimate this was going to be. I’m okay with being open with content. It’s how to serve it.
I’m going to address the query: “What does mmk10q mean?”
It doesn’t mean anything! When I text, sometimes I’ll respond “Mm’kay” or “mkay,” which is the equivalent to like “Okay”/”OK”/”K.” I suppose the “mm” part is like the part where I’m pondering. But I’ve never said like “mmm’nah.” (Now that I think of it, I should start doing that!) So typically that’s what you’ll hear..er read. Then I later found out that you can write “Thank you” in a shortcut. Wanna guess?…
10Q
There you have it. “Okay, thank you.” So maybe, I purposely wanted to have my name hidden in the whole thing. K10 is still relevant! But I’m not good at this whole nickname game so I’ll leave that all up to you, reader.
Hope this answered any question for the reason on why to stick around. If not, I’m glad you were able to find this tiny place. If anything, I do hope you come back again.
mmk10q || "mmkay, thank you" 